Huzzah for Anxiety

Actually not really, Anxiety sucks and I would like to wave good-bye to that negative emotion as well. It began small with knowing my boy needed a tonsillectomy. The more I learned about it and the after math pain the more stressed I became for him. In actuality this would not healthy for either of us if I allowed myself to show any form of fear. If I did it would cause a bigger concern to my 10 year old that is already worried out of his mind. So I suck it up at least around him and try to comfort all his fears.  The insurance company informed me that my deductible has not been met for the year yet as well. What that means to me is I need to pay $1240.00 out of pocket come July 2nd. This is already on top of the one car needing brakes, needing a new exhaust, and having to take it through inspection UGH! T also needs glasses and at the moment we are living paycheck to paycheck. Trust me I am not trying to sound as if I am complaining, a lot of people have it much much worse. 

But to me with an already existing anxiety disorder, it makes me constantly tense and on edge. I highly dislike this feeling of dread , always anticipating the worst. Muscle and tension headaches suck but my restless sleeping the past few days is probably the worst of it. I will be so happy when I can get rid of these feelings altogether. It seriously helps a lot for me to just get it out in writing. As if I am riding my problems into text formation. It may sound strange but it does help. I seriously think it is time for me to hit up the yoga classes at my gym. 

Lately I am trying to get of what I deem as flaws with in myself, like anger, short temper & stubbornness. This is one I am definitely adding to the list. I would like only my positive sides to appear   like my down to Earth, happy always laughing , optimistic outlook towards life. There is enough people in the world that bitch and complain about everything lol I do not need to add to the mix, besides life happens anyways and there is nothing I can do but try to find positive outcomes.

 Awesome story I read that I wanted to share. That reinforces my want to be positive all the time.

A grandfather sat with his granddaughter at a café enjoying a cool drink.  A stranger came up to them and informed them that he was new to town and wanted to know what kind of people lived there.  The grandfather immediately asked what kind of people lived in the stranger’s old town.  The stranger replied that people there were rude, hostile, and generally angry at everything and everyone.  The grandfather then told the stranger that he would find that this town was pretty much the same way.

A few minutes later, another stranger approached the café and informed them that he was new to town and wanted to know what kind of people he would find.  Again, the grandfather asked what kind of people lived in the stranger’s previous town.  This stranger replied that his last town had great people who were always kind and helpful.  The grandfather assured the stranger that the people of this town had those same traits.

Once the second stranger left, the granddaughter, who had been listening intently, asked her grandfather why he told the two strangers different things about the town.  He replied that people bring with them their own influences and experiences and that these often affect us in how we perceive the world.  If someone sees things negatively in one place, they will likely come to find these same things in another.

The beginnings of a new philosophy, with a positive outlook!

I have been doing much soul searching after this past week and especially after how insane this year has been so far. I am looking for improvement in every aspect of my life.  But to do so I need to get all issues and emotions out in writing. 

First off I need to begin with an apology to a certain person, sorry for passing judgement on you for what occurred one day in March. You did not feel well and I should of understood that.   I hope that anything in the past on either of our accounts can stay there and we can move on with the future.  I give you all the credit in the world for reaching out to me.  You did not know how things were going to turn out and still you took that risk. That alone makes you a pretty wonderful person. I would love to get to know you for the person you really are. I am glad both yourself and my brother have found happiness together. George you will always be my brother and we may not always see eye to eye, that is to be expected. I will forever love you…we will always be family… I will always be here for you if and when you need me. *hugs* to both of you.

Now for issues I feel like I just need to get out of my system. This in no way includes the people listed above or my real close friends.

First off I left High School back in 1994 but many times in my adult life I feel like I am stuck within its very walls. But I can't recall for the life of me H.S. being this bad.  Dealing with backstabbing, hypocritical, shit talking people that walk this planet makes it very hard to know whom you can trust. Honestly I feel some adults can be more childish than if they where back in school. I don't understand why anyone feels the need to make up lies or attempt to speak badly of others.

Personally my life is filled with real friends, family with a husband and two children, financial burdens and real life issues, I have little time or patience for petty games. 

I will be the first to admit I am in no way perfect nor do I ever want to come across that way. I have my own set of flaws. I am ruled by emotions, I can be stubborn, short tempered, overly blunt speaking what is on my mind without thinking how it may affect the person I am speaking to.  The two things I take pride in is that I am not a liar or a fake in any sense of the words. I am who I am and people can chose to love me or hate me for it. 

I guess this is why I find humor in people that feel the need to be this way. Why say things that were never said? Or act differently depending on who is around in order to make an impression? I really just have to sit back and laugh at it all, taking comfort in what I know is the truth or it would probably eat at me.  There is no point in letting this type of stuff get to me anymore.  As long as I know I never said things or I am trying to be a better person. I do not need to prove myself to anyone. I can get through my days knowing the facts. Besides that I have learned people will choice to believe what they feel in their heart as truth whether or not it is factual. Perhaps it is human nature to go with instincts.  

At this point in my life I have zero tolerance for wanting to play games. If anyone feels like I am talking about them or concerning myself with those now in my past are sadly mistaken. A lot of people will come and go, sometimes people enter your life and make you see things about yourself you want to change to be a better person. Then there is the occasion when you want to just walk the other way and forget about them entirely. In those cases I never lament the loss of something that was never really there. I was content with life before and shall continue to be as such without you. Sometimes things go awry due to miscommunication, I feel there always needs to be a resolve when this happens. Perhaps both parties will walk away for the better and sometimes this will end badly. However it is always worth a try.

I just do not want to personally deal with any negativity anymore. Life is way to short  and goes by way to quick. 

I have realized that all problems can be solved with 4 simple methods.

1. Will - the desire to solve the problem

2. Honesty - about everything

3. Empathy- understanding where others are coming from.

4. Creativity- finding solutions.

I personally need to have more self reflections. Breaking down my instant defensiveness and build up more confidence.  

I will not cultivate feelings of regret, everything happens for a reason, just need to sit and figure out the reasons. I do not want to hold onto guilt either. I need forgive myself and let go. Learn from anything in the past, but keep my mind in the present with my eyes on the future. 

We will see where things go from here. i would much rather be a positive force of nature then anything else. 

Now with all that said, Certain people will be removed from my life completely that present a negative front if it has not already occurred.  

To all my real friends and people I care about: Thanks for always being there. Amanda thanks again for taking the first step in fixing a family and I hope we can move forward with a friendship. I am very grateful for that and can't tell you enough how much that meant. 

Great Weekend

This past weekend was completely fab. Saturday I got to see Snow White and the Huntsman with Russ and my beautiful son. I adored the film. Meanwhile my little girl was having a wonderous day all her own. She spend the day with her bestie and the pair of them went to the sweet & sassy salon. Both had manicures, pedicures & their hair styled. Afterward they grabbed a bit to eat then back to her friends house to spend the night. 

Sunday we headed out to a good friends place for a Welcome home party for two of their children. BBQ with good friends is always welcome. Besides I got to see the house they just purchased which is beautiful. I am very happy for them both. 

Now I need to get ready for this weekend .. My son turns 10 on Saturday, which in many ways makes me a sad panda. DOUBLE DIGITS! UGH! time moves way to quickly. Most I can do it spend as much time as I can with them while they are young. 

The Staff of Herding

This staff will allow you access into Whimsyshire, The secret cow level in Diablo 3 :o)

In order to create the staff the following items are required:

Please note all the items are rare and may require you to make multiple attempts before getting the item.
To do this, Leave your game, then click resume game and travel back to where you were. All enemies should have respawned to indicate that your game has reset.

* Black Mushroom
This Item can be found in the Cathedral Level 1. It will show as a patch of lightly glowing mushrooms. Act1.

* Leoric's Shinbone
Can be found inside the fireplace inside, Leoric's Manor. Act1

* Wirt's Bell - This can be found of a little girl vendor (peddler squirt) in the Caldeum Bazaar in Act 2. It is sold for 100,000 gold


* Liquid Rainbow This item can be a bit of a pain to find. It is Located in the Mysterious Cave with in the Dahlgur Oasis in Act 2.
Set to your game to the Blood is Sand game or later. Click the waypoint the the Path of the Oasis.

Once inside look for the Mysterious Chest warning it does not always spawn. It can spawn on either level so check the entire place!

* Gibbering Gemstone This item can be found in The Caverns of Frost on the Fields of Slaughter in Act 3. It will spawn as either the Caverns of Frost or Icefall Caves. If you get Icefall immediately leave game and then resume trying again. IF it is the Caverns of Frost You are now looking for a Purple Named boss Chiltara. This Boss will drop the Gibbering Gemstone but the boss might not always be in the dungeon.

* Plans: Staff of Herding This Items is obtained of Izual in Act 4. This is a random drop and he may or may not have the item. You will encounter Izual in the Great Span.  If you do nor get them try again.



* 50,000 Gold Self Explanatory

Once you have everything!. 

To craft the staff out of the above materials, You must go to Haedrig the blacksmith to have him learn the plans. This is easy Click on the blacksmith and once inventory opens, right click on the plans. Next create your staff for NORMAL Whimsyshire.

Take the completed staff to the The Old Ruins waypoint in Act 1 and head west down old Tristrim Road, Hugging the Southern wall. There you will come upon Skeletal remains of what appears to be a cow, next to an open crevices in the ground.  The Ghost of the cow king will appear with a quest marker above  his head. Speak to him and away you go :o)

Note: The upgrades for the staff for Nightmare and Hell do not require the above listed materials. Just the already made staff. The recipes for the upgrades can be purchased from Gorell the Quartermaster inside Bastion Keep. You have to be on or finished with the Prime Evil Quest to obtain the plans. The cost of the recipe is 1 gold. Crafting it on the other hand is rather expensive. 200,000 gold for Nightmare, 500,000 gold for Hell and 1,000,000 for inferno. 

Good Luck Getting your Staff and I hope this helps out slightly :o) 

Diablo 3 Review

Diablo III picks up the story twenty years after the events of Diablo II. Mephisto, Diablo, and Baal have been defeated, but the Worldstone, which once shielded the inhabitants of the world of Sanctuary from the forces of both Heaven and Hell, has been destroyed, and evil once again stirs in Tristram. Playing as a hero from one of five distinct character classes, players will acquire powerful items, spells, and abilities as they explore new and familiar areas of Sanctuary and battle hordes of demons to safeguard the world from the horrors that have arisen.

The long await game by Blizzard arrived on May 15th and I have been addicted to it ever since. It was well worth that wait since the last edition. However on that note I wish the company would have released the game in a flawless package. That is not the case first week had numerous errors, still even now we get the occasional major lag spike or rubber banding effect and the real currency auction house is still not functioning. Overall all not to bad considering it is Blizzard. As much as I adore their games they have a habit of screwing up expansions, patches or releases…. often.

Now onto the greatness that is the game itself. I have a lvl 40 Wizard and a lvl 60 Demon Hunter who I am currently in Inferno with. First play through is wonderful with breathtaking graphics and a pretty strong storyline. Act 1 is pretty strong as well as Act 2, Act 3 is mass chaos and Act 4 seems a bit rushed at times. This is my out take on it. I was thrilled to pieces getting the staff of Herding to enter Whimsyshire on my first run through. Seriously what is better then blowing away Cuddlebears, Twinkleroot and Purple unicorns. The Cow level/secret level here is massively better than in D2. 

In normal mode I took my time explored everything, listening to every piece of dialog, by the way the voice acting is perfect. Nightmare mode I explored everything hitting the esc. button on most cutscenes and banter. Hell, I was tried of hearing the same thing over and over again. Personally wanting to reach through the screen to punch the templar for asking me how they treat prisoners in my land for the 1 millionth time UGH! Inferno is a pain in the ass point blank lol requiring great gear cause this is a  DPS race at its finest. Now I am sick to death of hearing the same thing OVER AND OVER, good thing you can skip through it :o) 

The crafting system is OK for jewel crafting however I feel blacksmithing is worthless due to the random properties. We are definitely in need of more stash space, bag space and I wish I could sell more than 10 items at a time on the AH, BLIZZ HONESTLY what were you thinking with this horrible idea? It leaves me and many others waiting for something to sell in order to get items out of my much needed stash space.

Anywho it has been twelve long years of waiting to play D3, the wait to me has been worth it. The game is addicting on a level few games can match, so it is easy to overlook and minor flaws. I can see myself playing this for years to come.

Snow White and the Huntsman

In this epic action packed adventure, Rupert Sanders (a commercial guy making his film debut) establishes a gloomy medieval world of decaying villages with a shadowy castle over looking everything. The tone is harsh for what will turn out to be a gripping fantasy story.

This once beloved fairy tale disney flick which was never one of my favorites has been turned upside down with an actual really good film. The movie is courageous, vivid, gorgeous and at times bleak, but overall simply beautiful and very well done.

The dwarfs were humorous at times yet endearing. Kristen Stewart did a good job on her performance, However I feel her lines were slightly underwritten. Chris Hemsworth gives a good performance as the Huntsman. Charlize Theron was wonderfully evil who gives a marvelous performance as the queen, greatly aided by amazing special effects.. Sam Spruell who played the evil queen's brother is creepy from beginning to end.

What can I say I seriously enjoyed this film from beginning to end. I would recommend at least seeing it to make your own judgements :o) 

For me I give it a 4 out of 5 stars