Christmas Magick

As I watch the pretty snowflakes dance their way down from the sky.

The winter's wind whispers, thoughts of days gone by.

Magick is all around us if only we choice to see.

It is in the sweet sound of a child's laughter.

It is in their breathless anticipation.......

Listen a squeak on the stairs, could it be… is Santa there.

Knowing they better keep still for they cant make a peep, He does not leave toys. Unless you are asleep.

It is in the moments of all their Christmas wishes.

As the Christmas lights twinkle, shining brighter then the stars. 

We should all remember just how lucky we really are.

Wishing Everyone a bright and cheerful Christmas!!

Damien Echols, Inspiration of Hope

To begin with Damien was the so called ring leader of what is known as the West Memphis Three. For those not familiar with the case, it is about three teenaged boys wrongly convicted of the 1993 murders of three 8 year old Arkansas boys. Asserting that the children were killed as a part of a satanic ritual, Damien was sentence to death by lethal injection. Jessie MissKelley and Jason Baldwin were sentenced to life imprisonment. I first heard about the case eons ago on the MTV news, I was still pretty young at the time so it was only a passing thing at that time.

However, in recent years I have become obsessed with the gross miscarriage of Justice. 

This blog is not about the case however. It is about the wonderful human spirit of one Mr. Damien Echols.

It is not very often in life that you come across something so profound that you as a person want to completely change for the better. For myself that happened very recently with the release of Damien's book Life After Death. He is an amazing solid author, allowing the reader inside his world with first hand accounts of his youth as well as life on death row. 

The story should open your eyes to the fact that anyone could be convicted of a crime they did not commit. It is a story, incredibly hard to put down, he had me laughing one moment and in tears the next.  I know I am lucky, at the end of the day however I can walk away from this injustice, he will have to live with the nightmare of what he has went through for the rest of his life. It breaks my heart into million of pieces.

There was times during the book I was filled with horror, he touched so close to home on many levels. I was without a doubt an individual that stood out, still am to this day now being covered in tattoo's. I adore for many reason feeling it is a window into the soul of a person. You can learn who is judgmental without having to get to know them. Any who … back on track. During the late 80's/90's I dressed mostly in all black, listened to metal, came from a family not made of money.

My father busted his ass working in the produce department of a supermarket just to provide for our family. My mother would work various night jobs in order to remain home during the day for my brother and myself. 

We had massive issues while I was a teen, we never seen eye to eye, they did not understand me and thought I was going down the devil's path straight to trouble.  I was taken to psychologists, sent to crossroads and scared straight, all based of the fear of understanding or proper communication. If I was in the wrong place at the wrong time… it could of been me. There was many more similarities, but I will spare you all the details. 

I would love to understand how he continues to view the world with a resilient kind hearted spirit, not apathetic towards mankind. His will to survive, educate himself, becoming a better person while facing an unthinkable hell makes him a truly inspiring hero in my eyes. He is grateful for what he has in this life and does not seem bitter, which speaks volumes about his character. I can only hope for him to be exonerated and continues to allow us/me to read his writings.

For the first time in my life was I ever compelled to write a letter to someone I did not personally know. I absolutely had to and hope he received it. I appreciate all the little things now that we often complain about in our day to day lives. I am blessed to have had the freedom all my life to experience it.

I am trying to keep my anger in check knowing that I will only be harming myself from allowing that emotion to ever take over. I thank him for allowing me to see the world differently. I wish everyone would read this aspiring piece of literature. You will come away from reading this beautifully written memoir with hope and love. For me Damien will be remembered always as an inspiration and source of great talent. 

Enchanted Visions

My love for you, like a blanket, comforts me throughout the night, gently be stills my frights.

The sensation I feel every time your near, in your arms making all wrongs be gone.

I need you by my side, in everything I do, Until the worlds collide, my heart will be with you.

My love for you like an eagle, soars above all and boldly flies throughout the skies.

My love for you like a rose, full of beauty, passion, and pride.

If I don't have those things in life, I will fade away inside.

I want you to know I love you and I know you love me too.

Love will last forever, just as long as I'm with you.

1/20/99

Let it Be

If we ever have to lie, let it be in each others arms.

If we ever have to steal, let it be more time for us to be together.

If we ever have to cheat, let it be in death, so we can love and live together.....

Forever!

Longing for You

Last night in my thoughts, an image of you came in shimmering light.
My tears glistened in the reflection brought forth by the ache in my heart.

The dark drab clouds rolled in, separating me from the suns warmth.
Just as your departure did, keeping us from basking in each others smiles.

Oh the trembling in my soul, craving the gentleness of your touch.
The bitter chill of the emptiness, thirsting for the warmth of presence once again.

The picture of your return to me is yet to distant to touch but,  yet heavenly to imagine.

I hope in our absence from each other, our hearts will grow fonder.
The clouds outside, will shortly pass, clearing the skies for our bright reunion.

As my love for you is as real as the moon and stars.
You have burned my heart with your brightness, making me willing to surrender myself to you.

I will try to be all that you desire. For my love for you will be never-ending and shall continue to grow throughout the ages. From this time until forever.

But for now I must go and close my eyes to await the angels of sleep.
They seem to make the pain of your absence vanish for the time.
For in my dreams we walk together. Just as it should be.


"1999"

A Game

Broken dreams and shattered glass.

A consistent reminder of the past.

A road walked down by many.

Why do people lie or cheat?

To hurt, causing pain to others.

Why do so many human souls thrive on destroying another's dreams or ambitions?

So we then can live in fear of ever wanting to trust another human being.

This seems like a game in which certain people must play.

It is the game of shattering others thoughts and opinions on life. 

In order for them to see themselves in a different and better light.

written March 16th 1990

Bond of Love

Your art thy only love, same as I am yours.

Understand our thoughts together a they become as one.

Sealed in a bond, enriched by life

There isn't time passing us by, known only as divine,

See there that which is old but new, delicate yet strong, seldom but eternal.

Hold back the race of timer and feel its slow and steady pulse of life.

I am she of lasting love. You are he giving it only unto me.

That I know is in what we have shown.

Learning this together is how we continue to grow.

We are them who will never stand alone.

Remember us breaking free from the passage of time.

Embarking upon untold creations.

Hear my words, truth living out no lies.

There beyond are world they await for are arrival.

Come with me and hear with your minds eye.

Listen for they are calling.

I will seal this with a kiss and tear of blood. 

Forever we will have an eternal bond of love.

written May 27, 1992

Heartbreak

I wrote this back in  April 15, 1989 Yikes..... Yeah I was young then.

In a park where I did dwell, I met a boy I loved so well.
He came and took my heart away and set it free another day,

I saw a strange girl upon his knee, he told her things he never told me.

For now I know the reason why, the girl was prettier than I.
I ran straight home to cry on my bed.

Not a word to my mother was said.
My father came home late that night, he searched the house from left to right.
He ran upstair the door he broke.
To find me hanging by a rope.
On the dresser there was a note.

IT SAID:

Dig my grave and dig it deep.
Marble stone, from head to feet.
On the stone, write above.
Tell the world I died for .......... Love

Greatest Gift

A blazing sunrise, rising high above a beautiful cloudless sky.

This start the beginning of yet another new day.

In my mind another image of you came to me, An Image of us lying together,

Holding me ever nearer to your heart.

I can't help but wonder what you are feeling inside as we are lying there together.

To feel your tender kisses against my lips,

One can't help but notice the passion they contain.

The mere touch of your hand moving slowly over my skin until your hand comes to rest in mine,

Ignites a fire inside my very soul.

As we lay together saying nothing at all,

It is always amazing to me as to how much we actually do say.

Come to me and let me please you.

Fear not for you are loved and forever,

I shall protect you with my love for you.

Together we could soar above the clouds as we seek ecstasy in  the stars.

To melt into me as if you are a part of me, to feel my heart then beat in rhythm with yours.

To feel those loving arms around me once again.

Will be life's greatest gift.

Innocence

Little ones fast asleep for this moment, I'll forever keep.

Looking down on you from above, my bundles of innocence, the ones that I love.

I know time will go by all to fast, but these are the moments, I'll treasure always reliving the past.

With ten little fingers that from the very start will be reaching for tomorrow, but forever hold my heart.

But today I will hold my babies hands, cause babies grow so fast. Those hands will one day wave good-bye to me when your baby days have past.

I never will forget how much you mean to me or how much I adored you from the moment you came to be.

Even long before that you where both with in my heart as I carried you for nine months loving you right from the start.

I will savior every moment of your precious years and be forever grateful that you had come to me. Soon one day you will realize you are the world to me.

Sometimes I may get discouraged, because you are so small.

Leaving little finger prints or crayon marks on furniture and walls.

But everyday your growing and soon you will be so tall.

All these little prints and marks, will be difficult to recall.

So I will copy your little hand print, that I can put away.

So I will know how your fingers looked, on that special day.

I promise I will always do my best yo shower you both with love and be forever grateful that I have been blessed to know your love.

I love you both! *hugs* Mom

Forever

As I Lay in my bed, With the covers pulled up over my face to mask the tears that fall from the corners of my eyes, Due to having a broken heart of shattered dreams of what we could of been together.

I will forever remember all the promises you made to me ,you said we would last forever, but was it all a lie?

As you left,  forgetting  all about me was all to easy, its like I was never there at all.

I remember the painful words that day of our goodbyes, Having a knife put to my soul would of been less painful then letting you go. 

I will now let my tears continue to fall to the floor, Not knowing now if I wish to continue without your presence.

Why won’t you just get out of my head and leave me alone... all I ever wanted to do was love you and be within your arms. Why am I  continually tortured with the thought of you.

I’m lost in the furious sea of hopelessness. I had no choice but to fall in love with you, you had me before I even laid my eyes on you.  But even now, I find out that you still don’t know that I fell in love with you.

Corned Beef Oven Omelet

Ingredients:

8 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 tsp. seasoned salt
1 package (3oz.) thinly sliced corn beef
1 cup shredded cheddar
1 Tbs. dried minced onion
dash of pepper

Heat oven to 325 degrees. Beat eggs, milk, dash of pepper, and seasoned salt. Tear the corn beef into small pieces into the egg mixture. Stir in the cheese and onion.

Pour into a greased baking dish 8x8, Bake uncovered 40-45 minutes or until the omelet is set and top is golden brown.

serves: 4-6

Life Changing Moments

It is inevitable. At some point in our lives we have all faced or will be faced with a life altering event. Whether it be the death of a loved one, serious illness, or something else that will remind us of what really matters in life. In the blink of an eye, everything can change. These experiences can teach us all valuable lessons, help to discover inner strength that we never knew we had. Further helping to cement what is truly important.

Taking deep breathes and inhaling the world around you is a  necessity I think we all have to work on doing more often.

Becoming a mother is a life changing event in a woman's life. I was blessed to be a mother of 2 healthy children.

This past week was definitely another one of those times for me. While sitting in the Children's Hospital with my boy. I seen a trama victim come in with half of his face bitten by a Rotweiler  who was no older than 7 with his mother in hysterics behind him. Many many children with cancer. A little 4 year old girl that had burns on the lower half of her body and was in for cardiac arrest. All around me children that did not deserve to be in such pain. I knew my son would be OK but for many of these other parents they would not be as lucky. My heart hurt for every single one of them and many times I had tears in my eyes just thinking about it. Granted it is sad when anyone gets ill but there is something about these little innocent lives that should not have to go through any of this. They should be able to play outside, have friends and just enjoy life. Not spend a portion of their lives or entire lives in a hospital. 

I sat their reflecting a lot on all that is important to me. I know now never to let petty human behavior effect me. If someone brings negativity into your world in anyway more than likely they should not be there. Life is way to short not to appreciated everyone around you. I want to become a healthier version on myself, I need to get to a OB/Gyn. That has long been over due. I was afraid to hear that my pre-cancerous cells on my cervix have changed. So I have avoided going for the past 2 years due to not wanting to know. I am still scared out of my mind but know this is something I must do. I need to quit smoking, lose some weight and get my diabetes in check. Not only do I need to do this for myself, but I have 2 wonderful kids that need a mother and friends and family to think of as well. I am no longer going to be afraid to get close to people in fear of losing them to a tragedy. I lost 4 friends while in HS that were all in the same car and hit a tree on the corner of my home it was 11:05 at night. I am sorry that I went outside to see what happened.  My friend Cheech was killed by a drunk driver crossing the road a fews year later. Many things happen that change who you are. But seeing those kids that may not get to experience the good life has to offer. Makes it easier for me to get through all of my past and want to just look towards the further on a more positive note.  Sorry I got lost rambling a bit. Inspiration to be a better person can be found in the most unlikely of places.

My Son's Surgery

On July 2nd my darling son had to under go surgery for a Tonsillectomy and Adenoidectomy.

The surgical procedure went well overall. He was taken into the operating room at 10:25 and we where on our way home by 1:00. It went much better than my anxiety had excepted it to. He came home in pretty decent spirits, very sleepy and cuddly. He did enjoy a few bowls of Ice Cream, I even talked him into eating a bit of salad. Was also making sure he was drinking as much fluids as possible in between his sleep. On the 3rd I notice things were a bit off, he was wheezing whenever he got up to go the the bathroom etc. On the 4th he attempted to come up the stairs to take a shower, by the time he reached the landing he could not breathe, gasping for air. Immediately we rushed him to our local hospital, I did not even have time to check in and they already had him in the emergency room. Hooking him up to machines, IV inserted, and medications give before I even got back to him :o( Very sad and now upset mommy trying to put on the bravest face possible to let him know all would be OK.

(Right before: Being transported to CHOP)

The Dr. came back in to inform me he needed better medical attention then what they could provide and that we were going to be Medivaced to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Upon hearing this he is now frightened as am I not really sure what to except. Still brave mommy face on in attempts to keep him calm. The EMT on board with us was simply amazing giving him hugs, putting on spongebob, making rabbits out of blankets the whole 9 yards. Just a simply wonderful human being. Once at C.H.O.P we where taken into the emergency room for evaluation and the wonder EMT actually went and made me a hot Roast Beef and Provolone sandwich. Plus the hospital itself was amazing and the staff very caring.

Diagnosis is that my son has Stridor, brought on from a respiratory infection he got on top of the surgery. Between the both in made it had for him to breathe. He was admitted to the PICU for overnight evaluation and place on Steroids.

Luckily for us he did a 360 durning the night thanks to the prompt care and medications given. He was fully Discharged at 4:30 PM on the 5th.

Huzzah for Anxiety

Actually not really, Anxiety sucks and I would like to wave good-bye to that negative emotion as well. It began small with knowing my boy needed a tonsillectomy. The more I learned about it and the after math pain the more stressed I became for him. In actuality this would not healthy for either of us if I allowed myself to show any form of fear. If I did it would cause a bigger concern to my 10 year old that is already worried out of his mind. So I suck it up at least around him and try to comfort all his fears.  The insurance company informed me that my deductible has not been met for the year yet as well. What that means to me is I need to pay $1240.00 out of pocket come July 2nd. This is already on top of the one car needing brakes, needing a new exhaust, and having to take it through inspection UGH! T also needs glasses and at the moment we are living paycheck to paycheck. Trust me I am not trying to sound as if I am complaining, a lot of people have it much much worse. 

But to me with an already existing anxiety disorder, it makes me constantly tense and on edge. I highly dislike this feeling of dread , always anticipating the worst. Muscle and tension headaches suck but my restless sleeping the past few days is probably the worst of it. I will be so happy when I can get rid of these feelings altogether. It seriously helps a lot for me to just get it out in writing. As if I am riding my problems into text formation. It may sound strange but it does help. I seriously think it is time for me to hit up the yoga classes at my gym. 

Lately I am trying to get of what I deem as flaws with in myself, like anger, short temper & stubbornness. This is one I am definitely adding to the list. I would like only my positive sides to appear   like my down to Earth, happy always laughing , optimistic outlook towards life. There is enough people in the world that bitch and complain about everything lol I do not need to add to the mix, besides life happens anyways and there is nothing I can do but try to find positive outcomes.

 Awesome story I read that I wanted to share. That reinforces my want to be positive all the time.

A grandfather sat with his granddaughter at a café enjoying a cool drink.  A stranger came up to them and informed them that he was new to town and wanted to know what kind of people lived there.  The grandfather immediately asked what kind of people lived in the stranger’s old town.  The stranger replied that people there were rude, hostile, and generally angry at everything and everyone.  The grandfather then told the stranger that he would find that this town was pretty much the same way.

A few minutes later, another stranger approached the café and informed them that he was new to town and wanted to know what kind of people he would find.  Again, the grandfather asked what kind of people lived in the stranger’s previous town.  This stranger replied that his last town had great people who were always kind and helpful.  The grandfather assured the stranger that the people of this town had those same traits.

Once the second stranger left, the granddaughter, who had been listening intently, asked her grandfather why he told the two strangers different things about the town.  He replied that people bring with them their own influences and experiences and that these often affect us in how we perceive the world.  If someone sees things negatively in one place, they will likely come to find these same things in another.

The beginnings of a new philosophy, with a positive outlook!

I have been doing much soul searching after this past week and especially after how insane this year has been so far. I am looking for improvement in every aspect of my life.  But to do so I need to get all issues and emotions out in writing. 

First off I need to begin with an apology to a certain person, sorry for passing judgement on you for what occurred one day in March. You did not feel well and I should of understood that.   I hope that anything in the past on either of our accounts can stay there and we can move on with the future.  I give you all the credit in the world for reaching out to me.  You did not know how things were going to turn out and still you took that risk. That alone makes you a pretty wonderful person. I would love to get to know you for the person you really are. I am glad both yourself and my brother have found happiness together. George you will always be my brother and we may not always see eye to eye, that is to be expected. I will forever love you…we will always be family… I will always be here for you if and when you need me. *hugs* to both of you.

Now for issues I feel like I just need to get out of my system. This in no way includes the people listed above or my real close friends.

First off I left High School back in 1994 but many times in my adult life I feel like I am stuck within its very walls. But I can't recall for the life of me H.S. being this bad.  Dealing with backstabbing, hypocritical, shit talking people that walk this planet makes it very hard to know whom you can trust. Honestly I feel some adults can be more childish than if they where back in school. I don't understand why anyone feels the need to make up lies or attempt to speak badly of others.

Personally my life is filled with real friends, family with a husband and two children, financial burdens and real life issues, I have little time or patience for petty games. 

I will be the first to admit I am in no way perfect nor do I ever want to come across that way. I have my own set of flaws. I am ruled by emotions, I can be stubborn, short tempered, overly blunt speaking what is on my mind without thinking how it may affect the person I am speaking to.  The two things I take pride in is that I am not a liar or a fake in any sense of the words. I am who I am and people can chose to love me or hate me for it. 

I guess this is why I find humor in people that feel the need to be this way. Why say things that were never said? Or act differently depending on who is around in order to make an impression? I really just have to sit back and laugh at it all, taking comfort in what I know is the truth or it would probably eat at me.  There is no point in letting this type of stuff get to me anymore.  As long as I know I never said things or I am trying to be a better person. I do not need to prove myself to anyone. I can get through my days knowing the facts. Besides that I have learned people will choice to believe what they feel in their heart as truth whether or not it is factual. Perhaps it is human nature to go with instincts.  

At this point in my life I have zero tolerance for wanting to play games. If anyone feels like I am talking about them or concerning myself with those now in my past are sadly mistaken. A lot of people will come and go, sometimes people enter your life and make you see things about yourself you want to change to be a better person. Then there is the occasion when you want to just walk the other way and forget about them entirely. In those cases I never lament the loss of something that was never really there. I was content with life before and shall continue to be as such without you. Sometimes things go awry due to miscommunication, I feel there always needs to be a resolve when this happens. Perhaps both parties will walk away for the better and sometimes this will end badly. However it is always worth a try.

I just do not want to personally deal with any negativity anymore. Life is way to short  and goes by way to quick. 

I have realized that all problems can be solved with 4 simple methods.

1. Will - the desire to solve the problem

2. Honesty - about everything

3. Empathy- understanding where others are coming from.

4. Creativity- finding solutions.

I personally need to have more self reflections. Breaking down my instant defensiveness and build up more confidence.  

I will not cultivate feelings of regret, everything happens for a reason, just need to sit and figure out the reasons. I do not want to hold onto guilt either. I need forgive myself and let go. Learn from anything in the past, but keep my mind in the present with my eyes on the future. 

We will see where things go from here. i would much rather be a positive force of nature then anything else. 

Now with all that said, Certain people will be removed from my life completely that present a negative front if it has not already occurred.  

To all my real friends and people I care about: Thanks for always being there. Amanda thanks again for taking the first step in fixing a family and I hope we can move forward with a friendship. I am very grateful for that and can't tell you enough how much that meant. 

Great Weekend

This past weekend was completely fab. Saturday I got to see Snow White and the Huntsman with Russ and my beautiful son. I adored the film. Meanwhile my little girl was having a wonderous day all her own. She spend the day with her bestie and the pair of them went to the sweet & sassy salon. Both had manicures, pedicures & their hair styled. Afterward they grabbed a bit to eat then back to her friends house to spend the night. 

Sunday we headed out to a good friends place for a Welcome home party for two of their children. BBQ with good friends is always welcome. Besides I got to see the house they just purchased which is beautiful. I am very happy for them both. 

Now I need to get ready for this weekend .. My son turns 10 on Saturday, which in many ways makes me a sad panda. DOUBLE DIGITS! UGH! time moves way to quickly. Most I can do it spend as much time as I can with them while they are young. 

The Staff of Herding

This staff will allow you access into Whimsyshire, The secret cow level in Diablo 3 :o)

In order to create the staff the following items are required:

Please note all the items are rare and may require you to make multiple attempts before getting the item.
To do this, Leave your game, then click resume game and travel back to where you were. All enemies should have respawned to indicate that your game has reset.

* Black Mushroom
This Item can be found in the Cathedral Level 1. It will show as a patch of lightly glowing mushrooms. Act1.

* Leoric's Shinbone
Can be found inside the fireplace inside, Leoric's Manor. Act1

* Wirt's Bell - This can be found of a little girl vendor (peddler squirt) in the Caldeum Bazaar in Act 2. It is sold for 100,000 gold


* Liquid Rainbow This item can be a bit of a pain to find. It is Located in the Mysterious Cave with in the Dahlgur Oasis in Act 2.
Set to your game to the Blood is Sand game or later. Click the waypoint the the Path of the Oasis.

Once inside look for the Mysterious Chest warning it does not always spawn. It can spawn on either level so check the entire place!

* Gibbering Gemstone This item can be found in The Caverns of Frost on the Fields of Slaughter in Act 3. It will spawn as either the Caverns of Frost or Icefall Caves. If you get Icefall immediately leave game and then resume trying again. IF it is the Caverns of Frost You are now looking for a Purple Named boss Chiltara. This Boss will drop the Gibbering Gemstone but the boss might not always be in the dungeon.

* Plans: Staff of Herding This Items is obtained of Izual in Act 4. This is a random drop and he may or may not have the item. You will encounter Izual in the Great Span.  If you do nor get them try again.



* 50,000 Gold Self Explanatory

Once you have everything!. 

To craft the staff out of the above materials, You must go to Haedrig the blacksmith to have him learn the plans. This is easy Click on the blacksmith and once inventory opens, right click on the plans. Next create your staff for NORMAL Whimsyshire.

Take the completed staff to the The Old Ruins waypoint in Act 1 and head west down old Tristrim Road, Hugging the Southern wall. There you will come upon Skeletal remains of what appears to be a cow, next to an open crevices in the ground.  The Ghost of the cow king will appear with a quest marker above  his head. Speak to him and away you go :o)

Note: The upgrades for the staff for Nightmare and Hell do not require the above listed materials. Just the already made staff. The recipes for the upgrades can be purchased from Gorell the Quartermaster inside Bastion Keep. You have to be on or finished with the Prime Evil Quest to obtain the plans. The cost of the recipe is 1 gold. Crafting it on the other hand is rather expensive. 200,000 gold for Nightmare, 500,000 gold for Hell and 1,000,000 for inferno. 

Good Luck Getting your Staff and I hope this helps out slightly :o) 

Diablo 3 Review

Diablo III picks up the story twenty years after the events of Diablo II. Mephisto, Diablo, and Baal have been defeated, but the Worldstone, which once shielded the inhabitants of the world of Sanctuary from the forces of both Heaven and Hell, has been destroyed, and evil once again stirs in Tristram. Playing as a hero from one of five distinct character classes, players will acquire powerful items, spells, and abilities as they explore new and familiar areas of Sanctuary and battle hordes of demons to safeguard the world from the horrors that have arisen.

The long await game by Blizzard arrived on May 15th and I have been addicted to it ever since. It was well worth that wait since the last edition. However on that note I wish the company would have released the game in a flawless package. That is not the case first week had numerous errors, still even now we get the occasional major lag spike or rubber banding effect and the real currency auction house is still not functioning. Overall all not to bad considering it is Blizzard. As much as I adore their games they have a habit of screwing up expansions, patches or releases…. often.

Now onto the greatness that is the game itself. I have a lvl 40 Wizard and a lvl 60 Demon Hunter who I am currently in Inferno with. First play through is wonderful with breathtaking graphics and a pretty strong storyline. Act 1 is pretty strong as well as Act 2, Act 3 is mass chaos and Act 4 seems a bit rushed at times. This is my out take on it. I was thrilled to pieces getting the staff of Herding to enter Whimsyshire on my first run through. Seriously what is better then blowing away Cuddlebears, Twinkleroot and Purple unicorns. The Cow level/secret level here is massively better than in D2. 

In normal mode I took my time explored everything, listening to every piece of dialog, by the way the voice acting is perfect. Nightmare mode I explored everything hitting the esc. button on most cutscenes and banter. Hell, I was tried of hearing the same thing over and over again. Personally wanting to reach through the screen to punch the templar for asking me how they treat prisoners in my land for the 1 millionth time UGH! Inferno is a pain in the ass point blank lol requiring great gear cause this is a  DPS race at its finest. Now I am sick to death of hearing the same thing OVER AND OVER, good thing you can skip through it :o) 

The crafting system is OK for jewel crafting however I feel blacksmithing is worthless due to the random properties. We are definitely in need of more stash space, bag space and I wish I could sell more than 10 items at a time on the AH, BLIZZ HONESTLY what were you thinking with this horrible idea? It leaves me and many others waiting for something to sell in order to get items out of my much needed stash space.

Anywho it has been twelve long years of waiting to play D3, the wait to me has been worth it. The game is addicting on a level few games can match, so it is easy to overlook and minor flaws. I can see myself playing this for years to come.

Snow White and the Huntsman

In this epic action packed adventure, Rupert Sanders (a commercial guy making his film debut) establishes a gloomy medieval world of decaying villages with a shadowy castle over looking everything. The tone is harsh for what will turn out to be a gripping fantasy story.

This once beloved fairy tale disney flick which was never one of my favorites has been turned upside down with an actual really good film. The movie is courageous, vivid, gorgeous and at times bleak, but overall simply beautiful and very well done.

The dwarfs were humorous at times yet endearing. Kristen Stewart did a good job on her performance, However I feel her lines were slightly underwritten. Chris Hemsworth gives a good performance as the Huntsman. Charlize Theron was wonderfully evil who gives a marvelous performance as the queen, greatly aided by amazing special effects.. Sam Spruell who played the evil queen's brother is creepy from beginning to end.

What can I say I seriously enjoyed this film from beginning to end. I would recommend at least seeing it to make your own judgements :o) 

For me I give it a 4 out of 5 stars

Vampire Diaries

Ugh! Thursday is quickly approaching and Vampire Diaries Season Finale was last week. What's a Vampire Brat to do with out her weekly addiction to Damon Salvatore along with the rest of the show? When this show was first about to air I heard jokes like "what do you want to watch that for? It is 90210 with teeth" With all the jokes aside I thought what the heck, I will give it ago anyways. OH MY GOTH am I ever happy I did. Vamp. Diaries quickly became an obsession. Not so patiently waiting for next Thursday to come immediately after the end of a show. In between shows I began reading all the Novels as well as the side books based off the show The Stephen Diaries. 1st hand knowledge, though the books are good but, there are a night and day difference from the show itself. I would recommend reading them. 

Sadly now I have nothing to look forward to on Thursday Night's.. That is of course until Season 4 begins sometime in Sept. Which seems so far away. On the plus side I have this weekend with one of my beast ghoul friends to have a V.D. Marathon :o) I am trying to catch her up to date with the seasons. 

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

OK to begin when I first heard about this book the title of it horrified me as well as had my eyes rolling with the drawn out sigh of OH BROTHER!  

However, the  book is an entertaining combination of history and fantasy. I was pleasantly surprised to admit I found little to fault. It was a well-written, very engaging, fast read. The author took real events and facts from Lincoln's life and wove in the vampire aspect nailing it like a coffin, which I found very interesting.

In fact, I was so intrigued with this story, I found it hard to put down. If you are looking for something fun to read and have the slightest interest in history as well as good writing….This is definitely the book to get  it is frightfully delightful.

Now only if it was true, it would make American History much more interesting and completely vamperific. 

Best Cookies EVER!

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Cookies

Ingredients:

1 cup - Butter, softened

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup light brown sugar

8oz. pkg. Cream Cheese, softened

1 tsp. Vanilla

1 large egg

2 1/4 cups flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

2 cups mixed semi-sweet and milk chocolate chips

Directions

1. Preheat over to 350F

2.  With an electric mixer cream butter and sugars until nice and creamy. Add cream cheese and continue to mix until all lumps are gone and it is nice and smooth. Add vanilla and egg and mix.

3. Slowly add flour, a little at a time. Add baking soda and salt and mix well, but not too much!

4. Turn off your mixer and add the chocolate chips, folding by hand with a rubber spatula.

5. Scoop cookie dough by the rounded tablespoon onto a cookie sheet; make sure they aren’t too close though!

6. Bake in your oven for 9-11 minutes, I do mine for 10.

7. Cool on a rack and once they are all the way cool put into a plastic bag or container and keep in the fridge!

    Since they have cream cheese in them you don’t want them to spoil!

This recipe yields approx. 3 dozen cookies 

Elementary Band

My son decided this year he wanted to join the band, his instrument of choice was the clarinet. At first I was slightly apprehensive about his choice. Thinking he was not going to like it after a month or so. However that was so not the case. He practices and plays it as often as he can. The 9th was his end of the year concert and it was wonderful as well as one of those extremely proud mommy moments. The band teacher at my children's school is one of the best teachers a parent could ever hope to have teaching their child. He is terrific with them always willing to go the extra mile to make it fun while they are learning. I think that is half the reason why not only my boy but many other kids stick with it. It is very rare to find a person that all the students adore. He just happens to be one of them. Which is wonderful, I personally feel music is a universal language that inspires human emotions and bridges the gap between culture. It is a very important part of our world. Looking forward to my daughter joining as well in 2 years, she is already wanting to play the flute. Now, I wish my sons actual teacher was as wonderful as the bands.

Pyrex Explosion

I am totally aware that glass can break, I was not aware glass could explode with a thunderous Boom. That is until last night. I was baking a chicken in the oven, at 350 degrees like I normally do. Took it out of the oven as normal and sat it one the stove top as always. Never had an issue has occurred up till this point. What happened next was completely unexpected. I loud explosion occurred startling myself and scaring the bejeebus out of my 6 year old daughter. Who was in the next room sitting on the sofa. Thank the heavens both of my children where in there. Juliet attempted to run in near me with tears streaming from her eyes, She was met with an immediate get out of here now. Causing her more worry. Glass was from one end of my kitchen to the next, due to the fact the glass became a projectile. I yelled for hubby to grab my flip flops so I could get out of there. Calm the little one and check my damages. I had a few slight burns, I decent cut in the bottom of my foot and a few little slices else where. I was rattled by the entire experience. After I took 15 mins to stop my foot from bleeding and bandaged it up. I then proceed to clean the mess that lauded before me. 3 hours later I finally got it all picked up. I am still frightened of the small little shards that are almost impossible to get all of them. So back in the kitchen I go yet again today to make sure there is no little hiding pieces of glass. I will never use anything except metal or ceramic from this point forward.  The company world kitchen can kiss my butt it they think I will ever purchase another single product of theirs. Nor would I recommend it to my worst enemy.

Early Morning Mommyland

6:30am wake up alarm, OK I HEAR IT and I am up. Next the process of hearing both of them in stereo, MOM what is for breakfast, we're hungry. Once told it is followed by we don't want that and both of them thinking the kitchen is their own personal diner with executive chef mom. As I am making whatever it is for breakfast the typical morning chaos progresses. He will not let me watch what I want, She is hogging the TV, He is sitting to close to me, mom she smacked me, along with the screaming at each other and making noises just for them to annoy each other. Shortly after this it is followed by getting ready to walk out the door as both of them should have already been dressed. Brushing teeth is a whole other story. In which they both feel the need to do it at the exact same time, as well in the same bathroom. Not like we do not have 2 of them O.o This leads to more squabbling, Along with me looking at the clock wondering how many more minutes do I have to deal with this lol. AWESOME! 7:58 time to head outside to wait for the bus. However the moment it arrives and those two little wonders of life get on it to head of to school. I begin to miss them, the house becomes silent with the except of the laundry room and dishwasher running. 

Now I sit here and wonder what could I have done differently to make the morning go by slightly smoother? I like to think that I have it all together, but I am smart enough to realize that none of us do. Let’s face it… perception is no where near reality. 

The chaotic nature of most morning, I just tribute to sibling rivalry.I am sure we all have our moments of just wanting some peace but when they are away from us for too long we miss them.

Make-up for Little Girls

How young is too young? I read a news article this morning about a mommy blogger by the name of Lindsay Cross who wrote about her child's fascination with adult cosmetics. Much to my own surprise it has cause much controversy. Seriously there are shows out there like Toddlers and Tiaras which I personally find appalling. But for the love of god I can't seem to wrap my finger around the concept of anyone having an issue with a little girl playing dress up and wearing make-up.  My own daughter will wear light glittery shades on her eyes and lip gloss. She also enjoys having her toe and fingernails painted. She is 6 and I find absolutely nothing wrong with this what so ever. I think it is important that I bond with my daughter on this level. She is a beautiful little girl no matter what and I tell her that often. It is however fun to have mommy-daughter time where she can dress up, put on a little make-up and go out some where for the day.

MOST little girls are going to watch their mom put on make-up and think it looks fun and will want to wear their own. Most little girls daydream of when they will be grown up too. What a thrill it is when you get your first pair of little heels. It is also a joy when you get your first eyeshadow, all your own. It’s a rite of passage. 

People really need to get over themselves & just let parents do the parenting of their own child already! Some Moms kill me with with their self absorbed comments.

I see nothing wrong with my daughter at all and yes.... she is wearing makeup and her nails are done!!!

Titanic II

Today it was announce that Australian billionaire Clive Palmer has commissioned a 21 century replica of the Titanic. Set to make its maiden voyage in 2016. 

Titanic II will be constructed to the exact design and scale of the original — 882 feet long with nine decks — but will feature a number of modern technologies and construction elements. The ship will use diesel engines as opposed to the original's coal-fueled steam turbines, in addition to modern propellers, rudders, and thrusters designed to improve its maneuverability. It will also sport a bulbous bow beneath the water line which will improve its fuel efficiency. To match the replica's exterior, the interior of the ship is being designed to reflect the original, down to the woodworking and staterooms. It will contain gymnasiums, swimming pools, and restaurants like its infamous predecessor, in addition to modern amenities.

I personally want to buy one of the first tickets for her maiden voyage. That is.... if,  I can afford them. One way or the other I will try my hardest.  I recently wrote a blog after going back to see the film in 3D. Titanic has been in my heart for many years and to me this would be the ultimate.

Here is to hoping  they actually pull it of this time. It was attempted back in 1998 but the plans fell through due to high costs to rebuild and a multitude of other factors. 

Titanic Weekend

15 years have past since the original release of James Cameron's Titanic to the big screen. First time it was released I happened to see it 10 times. April 15th 100th year anniversary since the doomed ill-fated White Star liner fell from grace to sit at the bottom of the Atlantic. It was only fitting for me to return to the theater once again to now see it in 3D.  I have had a love of the ship for as long as I can remember.  I was extremely small but I recall watching a Night to Remember with my father and have studied Titanic through out the years.

Including reading The Futility: The wreck of the Titan written by Morgan Robertson a man the foreseen the wreck 14 year previous to the actual sinking. The actual passenger stories of the survivors and those that did not make it is what I find the most interesting. I can't past on watching the history channel or any special that happens to be on regarding the Luxury liner.

To this day the story and what occurred grabs at my heart on many levels. Going back to see it was eerie in many ways.  I must say that I did enjoy it just as much as I did the first time and the tears fell just as bad as they always do. The funny thing for me is not so much the story of Jack and Rose the captures me. 

It is the real lives this disaster affected  the true love of Isidor and Ida Strauss, As water poured into the doomed vessel Isidor gave up his seat on the life boat because there was still women and children on board and his wife Ida gave hers up because she did not wish to leave her husband's side. They died together that night side by side.  Stories like this one is where the true heroic story of undying love, chivalry and honor is told.

Benjamin Guggenheim was said to returned to his room b-84 and changed into his finest evening wear, his Valet doing the same. He was heard to remark "We've dressed in our best and are prepared to go down like gentlemen" His final act was to write a message stating that if anything happens to me, tell my wife I've done my best in doing my duty. The sad and extremely tragic story of survivor Jack Thayer, whom became separated from his family ended up jumping in the water with friend and passenger Milton Long. That was the last time Jack seen Milton. Mr. Thayer did end up reaching the over turned collapsible lifeboat, in which he was pulled from the water as he recalled the cries of hundreds of people in the water.  He never noticed his mother in lifeboat 4 until the rescue ship the RMS Carpathia got them at 8:30 am his father did not survive. Never being able to remove memories from that evening or the loss of his own child Jack ended his own life in 1945 and is buried in the Bryn Mawr Cemetery in Pennsylvania. Hundreds of stories like this that never cease to bring tears to my eyes. 

The thought alone of being stranded in the middle of the frozen atlantic knowing that you have 2 hours left to live is fearful enough all on it's own. Overall I am extremely glad it was release yet again. This time I got the honors of sharing it with my 9 year old son. Who actually loved it and sat through the entire thing. I was very proud of him.

Spring Cleaning, Life Reflections

The past two days have been nothing short of perfect, weather wise. High 70's, lots of sunshine and blue skies all around. Seriously starting to feel like spring has indeed sprung. So in honor of the season and the opportunities it brings for personal renewal and fresh starts. I am going to not only be doing spring cleaning of my home, but also my life. Let's face it sometimes in life you find treasures and other times it is nothing more than trash. At the same time once we rid ourselves of the garbage, more treasures are brought into view. On a personal level I would like to purge all the toxins from my existence. That goes for my own inner emotions that i need to over come to be a better person. This process may seem a little overwhelming at first, due to the fact of when reflecting on ones life you may never know what you will discover. 

Personal human trash is much worse than physical trash, they will fester, rot, decay, and pollute everything around them with negative energy. The sooner you discover who these types of people are the easier it is to mend the pollution in your life they have caused and move forward towards happier memories, hopeful dreams and joyful intentions.

Honestly, Negativity is a cancer that appears in many form. Ridicule, condescension, intimidation, and self doubt are just a few ways it appears. Some of this my come in the form of internal self doubt, but most of this is caused by other people. Most of us are mature enough to avoid such malignant influences into our lives. Example of this is a person that insists on informing you anytime someone speaks badly of you. While these people are not directly attacking you, they are trying to quietly chip away at your self-esteem and mood. Thus, they should be removed immediately.

Praise or Blame: Truth in Stereotypes

For starters this is something we as human beings have been doing since the dawn of time. Placing people in to neat little pockets of groups in hopes of better understanding them or not wanting to understand them. For example you are placed into a group for what class you are based on your economic standing. Same goes for religion based off of your faith or lack there of. As with everything the eyes of the beholder will judge all people. Example if someone is on welfare, most not all people just deem them as being to lazy to get a job. But in all honesty unless you live in their shoes you have no real idea what brought them to this place to begin with. The biggest one out of all of them is gender based groups. The automatic roles that are suppose to be played out for whether you are born with a penis or a vagina. Just because I am a woman, does not mean I am here to serve men, cook, clean, sew, etc. My point with this is it is within all people to assume roles or status based on the way we were taught to think. 

Now I come to the point on why I began this blog to being with. It has recently been brought to my attention that their is still an epic battle of North vs. South going on here within the US. Seriously that war ended in 1865 from what I thought until recently. Can't people just be people?  I know that is asking way to much. We are all the same country just different cultures.

If your are from a southern state, this is something to be proud of. However, to announce oneself as a confederate or fly a rebel flag is insulting to not only yourself but to anyone with common decency. The war was base off of simple human rights as to whether or not we are allowed to own slaves. How the freak anyone can have pride in taken away the rights of another human is baffling to me to say the least. This is not at all worthy of praise. I do not call people those southerners, so why is the term damn yankee's so freely used? Do people realize this is a derogatory word that was used during the civil war to bash people that were for the Union? The instance you lower yourself to call people Yankees is the instant you become the enemy and should then be equally meet with the term stupid southerns, because in all honesty that shows a level of complete arrogance.

Why is that because history lessons will teach anyone that Damn Yankee's was a derogatory reference for Northerners. It is only said by those people in the south to insult others.

If you do not want to be looked at as stupid and or dumb, please to not stick yourself in that category.

Sorry but this southern pride stuff is a convoluted idea that depicts the glory days of the Antebellum south. It should not be honored in anyway. Instead it should be despised for its racism and morally off base culture that is was during that time.

Fragments of my Life

Born in 1975, I don't recall most of my childhood. But this is a reflection of what I do have a recollection of. My family was never one of money, most of my clothes were bought through the years  from K-mart or flea markets. There is only one vacation I can ever remember taken. That was a camping trip to KOA campground in PA along with going to Bushkill Falls, Before heading over to my grandparents home on my mothers side in Lake Ariel, PA,  which we visited every year. Granted we did have yearly dysfunctional family get together picnics at a place called Allaire State Park, went to the beach or Six Flags every once in awhile but never did anything extremely memorable. 

My mother as far as I am concerned was wonder woman. Doing absolutely everything around the home that needed to be complete. She kept our house so spotless you could of eaten off the floors. Taken complete care of me and in later years my brother as well. She worked a part time midnight shift job to attempt to make ends meet. Yet she always still found a way to make homemade breads, canned jelly's and a home cooked meal on the table every night for us when my father got home from work.

My father was a hard worker I will give him that, but he was the eternal dark storm cloud hovering above everyone to remind them that they could not ever become what they want in life.  Now granted he would have the occasional tea party with me or sit and watch a movie making ice cream sundaes.  He was also the source of childhood torture. For example telling me that there was a creep living under the bed and if I was to step a foot out of it before the proper time. That the creep would get me and pull me under. Another example of this is watching Poltergeist with him at the grand age of  7 having him go out and buy the clown and place it in my room.  Very humorous huh? He pulled stuff like this meanwhile was a very must go to church every Sunday type man. Was the deacon of the church at the time and taken course for his Ministry license or whatever it was.

The rest of my family outside my household was extreme dysfunctional to say the least with the exception of my Uncle and 2 cousins. I had an alcoholic Grandfather that would go out to get bread for my grandma and not return until two weeks after, cause he went on a drunken exploration who knows where. But when he return it was always with the item he was sent out to get. My Aunt was a diagnosed Psycho-schizophrenia and was hospitalized for it for a time. Later herself and husband died due to being hit by a drunk driver. Leaving behind a handful of children to then be raised by my grandpa and grandma on my father's side. 

Not a single person in my family had emotions based on reactions to things, outside of anger and displeasure. Well I will exclude my mother form this as well. 

My father was a public image manager that excepted me to dress and act like a princess at all times. When I tried being myself. I was automatically taking a turn for the worse.

My grandma on mom's side always made sure to point out that I was not the ideal child that my mother was at my age, whatever age that was at the time. And always felt the need to comment on my weight if I gained any.

I somehow became the black sheep, the one blamed for most family issues, despite the fact that I was probably the most emotional stable out of the lot. Not sure I can say that I am 100% emotionally in tact at this time. Their is a lot of stuff that affects me still till this day. In may ways I am hoping getting this all off my chest in written form helps to some degree. Trust me I developed a auto-destructive sex life at a very young age, grew up way to fast, have struggled with issues with poor self image, often feeling anger, anxious, and depressed.  I will be writing more blogs regarding the different stages of my life inter mixed with my day to day experiences as a now as an adult and mother myself with sometimes weird outlooks or opinions.